What if Your Technique Isn’t the Problem? (your body dances the story your mind believes)
Written by Nicole Sabella
“You have to push yourself every day to be the best dancer you can be, because there’s always going to be someone better than you.”
Most dancers grew up hearing some version of this phrase. It’s repeated so often in the dance world that we rarely stop to question it. But hidden inside this meant-to-be motivational message is a quieter one many dancers unknowingly carry for years. And that’s, “you’ll never be good enough”.
While this common dance trope is meant to inspire discipline and resilience, it also paints a very narrow picture of what dancers actually need to succeed in the professional world. These words don’t account for the complexity inherent in auditioning, the interpersonal connections often beneficial, and the right place at the right time of it all. Additionally, as mentioned, the subtext of this phrase is actually saying something very different than intended… “You’re never good enough” and “You’ll never be good enough”.
Can you see how this is rooted in scarcity? How this phrase may be having the opposite effect than what we might intend?
This causes a common mindset to develop that keeps dancers in a kind of tunnel vision– obsessing over technique, body type, artistry, and casting– as if they just need to push harder and some dance opportunity will rescue them and send them the message, “You are finally worthy”. Meanwhile, this mindset neglects other factors that often matter just as much, like building intrinsic confidence, body language awareness, self-promotion, and social-emotional skills, etc.
I see this often in the dancers who sit across from me over Zoom having invested in Nourished Dancer coaching. They’re convinced it’s their technique holding them back, or maybe something negative about their bodies or performance style. A few months later, after working together with EFT tapping and other science-backed mindset tools, not only do they feel better, their perspective has expanded, and right down to the way they hold their bodies as they walk into the studio has shifted to an air of humble confidence. (yes, these two words can coexist).
Let me illustrate this for you clearly, using my own story as an example. How my self-doubt showed up undeniably in my body and in the way I danced.
I know this pattern intimately, because I lived it.
Nicole running in Mark Morris’ Grand Duo. Photo by: Nan Melville 2016
I was, by every measure, a terrible runner. And as a modern dancer, well, we run a lot. At the time, I was dancing for the legendary Mark Morris, whose choreography often blends varied dance techniques with pedestrian movements like walking and running. Most every dancer knows, sometimes it’s simply walking or running on stage that’s the hardest part.
In my first few years with MMDG, each and every time there was a run in a piece, I got a note. Every. Single. Time. I did everything I could to work on the physicality of my running. I watched athletes, ran on a treadmill, studied other dancers in the company, and consistently worked on running over my lunch break. But absolutely nothing I did worked.
I wanted sweeping, grounded modern dance runs. But instead mine were light, small, bound, and awkward. It reached a point where I dreaded entering the stage or being asked to run in a rehearsal, because I knew, without a doubt, it wasn’t up to par, and I would get a note. I was frustrated and embarrassed that I couldn’t seem to make this improvement.
Between 2019 and 2022 I unexpectedly had a lot of time away from the stage; a major ankle injury, the pandemic lockdown, a brief return to performing, followed by a minor knee injury. While I can’t overstate how painful it was to be feeling like my best dancing years were being erased (these details need their own blog post). In that time I worked with a coach, unrelated to dance, who introduced me to the mind-body technique of EFT Tapping. And later another wonderful coach and mentor, Kris Ferraro.
We worked on:
People Pleasing— My life history of needing to walk on egg shells to keep the peace was resulting in a tiptoeing quality in my running.
Perfectionism— This showed up as me wanting to do things “right” and being terrified to show my work if I wasn’t sure about it. This made my muscles tight and my movement unsure and tentative.
Imposter Syndrome— I honestly didn’t feel worthy and convinced I must have just gotten lucky. I completely dismissed my lifetime of hard work and talent, resulting in my movement at times looking like an apology.
You know what Martha Graham famously said, “Movement never lies”.
No wonder I was taking little steps in my modern dance runs, and playing small in many areas in my life too. Isn’t it interesting how the two mirrored each other?
I had no idea that working on these mindset patterns would improve my running or my dancing. After all, the coaching had been completely separate from dance.
But when I re-entered the studio in 2022…
I never got another note on my running again. Not one.
By letting go of:
People Pleasing— I stopped tiptoeing, dropped my weight, and dug in.
Perfectionism— My muscle tension eased up and my movement became more agile and expansive.
Imposter Syndrome— I widened my gait, was able to take larger strides, and stopped playing small for good.
Can you see how my body was expressing exactly what my mind believed?
I share this to illustrate to you that not every element of a dancer’s performance can be fixed by taking more class, more training, and ”...pushing yourself to be the best dancer you can be…”. Sometimes we have to go deeper to the thoughts we think, the feelings we feel, and how they’re physically manifesting in our bodies.
What I found, over and over again, in my performing career is that as I evolved on a human level, my dancing did too. As I let go of my mindset limitations, my dancing became more mature, more embodied, and more emboldened. Now, this doesn’t mean I always thought I was the best or became arrogant, but I did grow my sense of intrinsic confidence in precisely what I could offer as an artist.
There is almost nothing more empowering than realizing your dancing improved on the outside because of the work you did on the inside.
So the next time you blame your dancing, pause and check in with yourself. Was it really your pirouette, or were your eyes fixed on the floor? Did the teacher truly not like you, or was your body language closed off and guarded? Was it that you forgot the combination, or did your shoulders slump and your movement begin to apologize instead of bouncing back and enjoying the groove? Or like me… was it really your running? Or was it a pattern of thinking that had been keeping you small, when you were really meant to fly?
Because once you’re dancing at a high level, it’s rarely your talent that holds you back. It may just be that your body has been dancing the story that your mind believes.
If this resonates, I’d absolutely love to hear your story in the comments below.
I’m always here cheering you on. 🤍
Ready for an individualized approach?
Because you know that getting to your next level of confidence as a dancer might not only mean pushing yourself in the studio. Inside of the Dancer’s Master Your Mindset Program we can untangle any patterns keeping you from dancing to your fullest, so that you can reach your potential with more ease.
Want to give EFT Tapping a try?
Head over to my Free Dancer Resources and grab your FREE Dancer’s Confidence Kit. Inside you’ll find a powerful Tapping Meditation that will help you reach the humble confidence you’re looking for. This is an excellent EFT Tapping taster!
Prefer more bite-sized guidance?
Join Nicole over on Instagram @nicole.e.sabella, where a little Nourished Dancer insight might just find you right in your daily scroll.
Meet the Author
Nicole Sabella is a multi-passionate dance professional. She’s a certified wellness and mindset coach, dance educator, speaker, and the founder of The Nourished Dancer.
Nicole toured the world for a decade as a core member of the Mark Morris Dance Group and now brings that depth of experience into her coaching. She specializes in helping dancers release self-doubt and heal their relationship with food and their bodies through methods that support a mind, body, and soul approach.
Nicole founded The Nourished Dancer in 2020 to offer one-on-one coaching and group workshops that empower dancers with practical tools and heightened inspiration to level up their dance lives from the inside out.
